ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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