i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
