so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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