Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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