you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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