guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
