i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
