it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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