I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
