i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize