Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
