official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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