You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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