I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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