DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize