Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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