So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
