"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
