office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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