Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
