There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
