He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
