She's like a pop up book from hell.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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