i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the liver wants what the liver wants
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
