im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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