just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize