I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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