I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize