Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
