Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
