can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
