Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
