normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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