it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
