You can't motorboat a personality
she smelled like a LAN party
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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