I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
