I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
