Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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