just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
