real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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