Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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