My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
