College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
