If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
