so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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