6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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