Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
