i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
