We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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