so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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