Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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