Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
