Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The struggles of a small town man whore
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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