The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
